Delivering Love

Some years ago when my two eldest weren’t quite 2 &3 we had a fairly significant snowfall. In all my motherly wisdom I decided that it was my unquestionable duty to take my two toddlers outside to have ‘fun in the snow’. This was a time when Facebook was but a twinkle in Mark Zuckerberg’s eye so I cannot claim to be influenced by social media and the making memories brigade. This was all on me. Thus followed a significant period of time hunting for ‘suitable attire’, clothing that was worthy of the fears that ice and snow bring to the parent of tiny children. Let’s be honest here, I was as much motivated by the fear of a stuffed up coughing baby as I was the actual protection of said baby, but hey ho. Clothing found, the next task was of course to get the wriggling little sods into garments not designed for uncooperative tiny humans. You can make a star all you like with your fingers but you’re still going to get 3 plus a thumb in the wrong space. Fact.

Clothed and rigid ( yes rigid, they can barely bend so trussed up are they) mum fires on an inadequate array of garments, chosen as much for their proximity as their purpose and off we go. Ok so not ‘off’ but a foray into the outside . Bin bag on the ground (to waterproof) blanket on top and first tiny human deposited on said rug while second tiny human is rescued from flying headfirst down the two front steps, his balance completely wrecked by the many layers and unfamiliar footwear that removes all evidence of ankles. Snowman building commences.

First snowball is being rolled along the garden to build a body when smallest human is knocked off balance by slightly bigger tiny human and screaming ensues. Both rescued and moved  a suitable distance one from the other to permit the continuation of body building. Much singing of snow related songs in a voice considerably cheerier than the owner feels while body and head are constructed. Gasps of “wow” and “oh look” from the mouth of the adult desperately trying to convince tiny humans of the joy of such activities. Cries of ‘oh look your first snowman’ and ‘what’s his name’ echo around a empty cul-de-sac of new build houses filled with people tucked up in-front of fires enjoying their snow day from the comfort of their sofa.

Dilema! Accoutrements for snowman were not thought of in the mad haste to ensure pneumonia did not descend upon tiny humans. Much scuttling around available garden area in the search for suitable eye materials and the like. Guilt descends. It’s their first snowman, and it won’t have a carrot nose or a wooly hat or a bright scarf. Motherhood failure looms. Tiny humans popped one at a time inside the front door space while mum scuttles around the house grabbing snowman gear. Similar frantic singing as had occurred with outside building, this time the theme is ‘silly mummy forgot a hat and is coming quickly ‘. Tiny humans fired back onto the rug outside ( now damp with snow) and the life giving finale of the snowman is delivered in a flourish of blue fingers (gloves left inside in mad rush to get carrot) and shaking, frozen body. Singing commences. Bob the Builder this time, as only tiny human able to speak has declared snowmans name to be Bob.

Two hours from the commencement of this essential motherhood notion formulating we are back indoors. A total of 18minutes of that time being spent building the actual snowman . The rest …well there was the undressing, the fear of tiny humans being chilled to bone so of course warm baths had to be run and cosy jammies procured. Then there was the need for hot drinks and snacks and the draping of wet clothes over radiators and so on. Tiny humans deposited on couch with warm milk and an episode of Balamory. Mum is at the point of exhaustion and does the final flurry of clear up by mopping the floor sodden with snow.

Finally all three sit on the sofa together, grown up human satisfied with her motherly duties done and feeling like she has fulfilled the unwritten brief of a good parent. Only tiny human who can talk then declares cuddles on the couch with toddler tv ‘best thing ever’. Mother dies slowly inside, or she would if her heart wasn’t frozen solid from all the snowman building!