Delivering Love

I am an emotional sponge 🧽 whatever the emotions, mine or otherwise I have a tendency to suck it all up .. it’s like I think that’s what I should do .. need to do … but even sponges get full and when they’re too full they drip , they’re ineffective.

You see sponges are designed to suck up liquid then to have it all squeezed out again ready for the next time . It’s not the sponges job to hold the liquid it’s there to mop it up and then put it somewhere more suitable . If the sponge doesn’t release what it’s mopped up it’s no longer a sponge it’s just a sodden piece of material that’s lost its purpose.

This is something my heart has really laboured with recently . I AM a sponge , I can’t be a cloth because it’s not how I was made .. I’m a sponge . I soak up stuff , all the emotional spillage I see , well I suck it up . I can’t stop myself it’s as natural to me as breathing in and out .

HOWEVER.. what I don’t always do is wring myself out. I may be an excellent sponge , I grab every last drop of those emotions that are spilled but I often , too often , forget to wring myself out .

Lots of things happen to a sponge that’s never wrung out

It overflows

It stinks

It becomes mouldy

It’s leakage can cause damage to its surroundings

It’s useless

It gets discarded

In other words it’s useless . It’s no longer fit for purpose .

Why ? Because it forgot who it really was !

This is life . We are who we are . We cannot and should not change ourselves because of anyone else , but we also must decide when people are trying to change us and when they’re trying to bring us back to our best self ! There’s a world of difference .

Life has taught me that there are two types of people we will encounter in our lives . Those who love and care until it is no longer of value to them , and those who love and care even when it costs . My sister calls the latter “your people” .

The first are people who seem important , who feel important . Very often they become significant , everyday fixtures in our lives . They can be friends , colleagues, people we care for , family, work clients … all manner of different people . When you’re a sponge you are drawn to spills , that of course is your purpose in life so you see the spill and as a matter of nature you soak it up and make everything clean and fresh again . Phew .. until the next time . But who is rinsing the sponge ?

Sponges aren’t designed to squeeze themselves out (unless they are still living in the sea , more of that in a minute ) . They are tools to be used and cared for by those they serve . If you use your sponge to mop a spill then you will take it to the sink , squeeze out the liquid , give it a rinse and leave it sitting fresh and ready for the next time . That’s what careful sponge owners do – I can here you from here asking where is this going and rolling your eyes !

This is like the first person . They are sponge users , they see a wonderful sponge and they enjoy the benefits of that . They are grateful for the mopping up of their emotional spills, they are thankful that life’s leaks are taken care of .

The thing is they are not good at the reciprocal part of sponge ownership . They will squeeze and rinse for a while but they become sloppy and careless with their sponges . Eventually this means that their sponge becomes all those things we said earlier .

It can no longer mop effectively , it becomes useless to the person and it is discarded – they move on to a new sponge and repeat the same behaviour meanwhile blaming the sponge for its ineffectiveness while forgetting entirely their part .

The second person is like a houseproud cleaner. Their sponge person is a thing of beauty . They only use them when necessary , they take great care of them , they want them to eliminate the burden of their emotional spillage , to wring it out .. to do that they do not over burden and if and when life means that can’t be helped they take care to do what they can to look after their person . They never forget that for someone to give means it costs and so they give too . They remember in their own hardships to love and care for others – especially those who care for them . They never discard . These are the people who metaphorically boil their sponges in Zoflora and bring them back to life !

Here’s the thing . It’s a big thing . We are not inanimate objects like a synthetic sponge bought from a supermarket shelf .

Real sponges are living animals in the coral reef of the sea . They are essential parts of the reef’s ecosystem converting nutrients that benefit the whole reef . They are some of the oldest living things on earth dating back millions of years and each one , left untouched , can live for thousands of years .. WOW !!!

The moral ? We are living creatures .. we are human beings with a purpose and a plan for our lives . We are delicate but robust , we are important and we must respect ourselves so we can continue to contribute to others .

Let me repeat

We must respect ourselves so we can continue to contribute to others .

Some people pick these beautiful sponges from the ocean floor and sell them as beauty products . They are soft and amazing and precious to their owners . But they become finite . In short they are now dead . Their service in beauty means they have to die to have purpose and in dying eventually they will deteriorate and need to be discarded . If these beautiful animals are left to live in their natural habitat then they will continue to give , they will continue to contribute to the eco system of this world only by doing so in a natural way they can continue on for an almost infinite amount of time .

The moral here is what modern peeps call “self care” . Even if you’re not a mad seeking out spillage sponge type like me , you will none the less find yourself cleaning up emotional spillage be it your own or that of others .

So please wring yourself out . Clear away that spillage. It came out of someone else for a reason , send it down the drain and don’t carry it . Rinse out your heart , make sure no residue is left over that could cause your spirit to grow mouldy and damaged . Cleanse yourself if necessary and most of all do not allow yourself to be discarded not by others and most especially not by yourself .

There’s a sponge on the market just now called a “Scrubby” ! When it becomes immersed in cold water it’s stays hard and rough but when it is soaked in warm water it becomes soft and supple : both are useful .

We are human beings , we are designed to be soft and supple , but make no mistake sometimes we need to have a little bit of toughness to allow us to push through the difficult times . The problems come when we are immersed continuously in either one or the other without respite .

What kind of care do you need ? Right now in your life ask yourself .. is your spirit overflowing and at risk of becoming a useless mouldy discardable mess ? If so rinse yourself out . Get rid of that which is causing you to become heavy , overburdened and at risk of damage .

Is your spirit hard and inflexible ? Do you need to be bathed in warmth to enable your heart to soften and be supple ? If so find the warm water in your life , look to those people around you and decide who is draining you and who sacrifices for you . Look for ways to self care , give yourself permission to look out for your heart and remember that in doing so you become more able to be effective in your own life and to those you love .

Life is tough , life is hard , that is assured . Life also can be beautiful , full of love and honesty and joy .

Those sponges in the oceans reefs , those delicate, soft , beautiful objects survive for thousands of years absorbing nutrients and transforming them into what the reef needs . Remember they eliminate the waste after they have done their job and that way they can continue for a long time contributing to the world around them .

Take care … every time you see a sponge check yourself and ask what condition the sponge of your heart is in and do what needs done .